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April 1, 2012
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...remembering

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 1, 2012, 6:23 AM

"Upon wings of tomorrow, leave behind today; yesterday a dream.
Reach the rock and sing of wind, water, and rain.
Watcher of the woven who bares still the scars,
but bares them not for bearing for they are not what we are."

This poem is an original and may not be reused without my permission.

From my soul to yours, I sing.
Beautiful art done for me ONLY by Silver-Sully

:bulletpurple: I am extremely unstable right now...
...so I don't know what to tell you.
Here. Not here. Gone. Back.
Every which way but whole.
If you need to reach me, email is best for awhile.
I can't promise I'll reply, but I will promise to try...
RekaCryistall@gmail.com


...having a really bad case of the "missing Mala"s this morning...so...between the crying, have some of our memories from over a decade of love undefinable in this world...






















I was the ONLY one she would let lay on her and hug her and...I shared the most magical moment of my life with her...a fluke occurrence cast the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) strong enough to be seen from Indiana...her and I sat on a grassy hill just watching it...the only time in my life to have seen them in person...and I couldn't imagine having shared those moments with anyone else...

I miss you so much...so very, very much...I'm just so...so...heartbroken without you...I think I know how twin siblings feel; that "other connection" they are so mysterious and famous for...so very much of me is gone without her...I feel her in many things...all things...and it hurts so much...

Sorry for the photo spam...and if you're getting tired of hearing about Mala, then I'm sorry too...but it's all I've got...I have no family to call, no friends to come over and go through pictures with...she was everything...I don't know how else to say it...I live...but my very heart has moved on; passed away from this world...I hope we met again...until then...there just simply is nothing to relieve this ache...

-Reka
AKA Crys

fav.me/d4t121j :heart: fav.me/d4uq263
Mama Mala by Aveilthe Mala, gift for Reka by Tenmashi :thumb290679470: Mala by Decadia GIFT: Crys and Mala by MagicallyCapricious Mala by cottondragon

  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: the rain
  • Reading: nothing
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Monster Energy Absolute Zero
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:iconemeowrald:
Emeowrald Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
Awww. It looks like she was very dedicated to you and quite a cuddle puppy too.
Sorry for your loss.
Reply
:iconrekacryistall:
RekaCryistall Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I was the only one she would let cuddle her. She was my world.
Thank you.
Reply
:iconemeowrald:
Emeowrald Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2012
Awww. You're welcome.
Reply
:iconkatiusnehebsis:
KatiusNehebsis Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2012
The pictures are beautiful.
I'm here for you, Reka. Always.
Reply
:iconrekacryistall:
RekaCryistall Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:iconstraw-hat-luffette:
straw-hat-luffette Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Anybody who is insensitive enough to think you're spending too much time mourning can go fuck themselves with something hard and sandpapery. Never apologize for mourning a piece of you gone, anybody truly worth your time will understand.

As for the pictures, I see two beings, but only one large, warm soul. Bonds that strong can't be broken by earthly limits. I know that when you're reading this, Mala is right by your side, just as she is wherever you go. Just close your eyes and focus on her warmth, you'll find it, I promise. :]
Reply
:iconrekacryistall:
RekaCryistall Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:tighthug: Thank you hun...indeed; two bodies, one soul and it's been so hard finding my footing again with such a massive part of me missing...I am only just now getting around to replying to the comments left on the journals about her death and ones such as this...I will be doing alright but something happens that reminds me of her, or I see these pictures, and it feels so sharp, so fresh; a tingling numbness that never fails to bring tears. Knowing your here though and that your understand so deeply means a lot to me, and I hope to be able to do something for you to at least let you know how much I appreciate your words. There have been a few times when I could have sworn I heard her; one of the noises she would make that were unique to her like a huff or howl-word or even a sneeze...when that happens, I like to think it -is- her letting me know she is still my shadow and always will be.
Thank you hun, for everything.
Reply
:iconstraw-hat-luffette:
straw-hat-luffette Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I would say beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is indeed her breaking through the barriers between life and death to let you know she's still there-- because she just loves you that damned much, hun. She doesn't want to see you in pain and her strength to continue to show you that she's not gone at all in spirit is breathtaking to say the least. What a beautiful soul you have been blessed with, hun, she doesn't leave your side for a single moment of the day, I'm sure of it. :)
Reply
:iconnighttracker:
NightTracker Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Id give anything to have half as many pictures of me WITH my dogs, other than just be the photographer. Unfortunately I dont live with anyone who thinks to capture such memories. The rare few I have of me with my past pets have been taken by my parents. Their all very beautiful and you two really had something. She was a beautiful and very happy pooch. Since Mala passed ive been thinking a lot of my Meadowlark. Meadow was close to me like your Mala was to you. Ill never have another one like her, either, just like no other dog will match Mala. Keep those memories strong, without memories, we are nothing.
Reply
:iconrekacryistall:
RekaCryistall Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I have a few videos of her as well, and I treasure them when I am strong enough to look at them...Mala and I just had that kind of bond where even my husband would grab a camera to sneak some pictures of us cuddling or even just laying together or sitting watching TV or something out a window...and I am so thankful for them...I have literally hundreds of pictures of Mala from shortly after we first brought her into our lives all the way to a day or so before her death and I couldn't imagine not having them. I wish you had something like it...I really do. Love you hun.
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